Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You Bleed Just to Know You're Alive

Mood:  :/
Hating:  how my feet and legs hurt.
Loving:  JD and coke.
Lip-syncing:  Goo Goo Dolls -- Iris (this song NEVER gets old)


Just a quick life update. I finished my last exam on Saturday, had a depressing and lonely Easter, and started a new job at a french bistro. I'm still working my cashier job at Osmow's Grill, the little Mediterranean restaurant from before. It's awesome there, and the other employees are very entertaining. But I got offered a serving position at this place in Streetsville called Bistro Chezanne, and it's very appealing; at least to me.

Problem is, I'm not exactly a classy person. If the fact that my favourite alcohol is Jack Daniels wasn't a strong indication, all the things I have to learn now is lol. Who knew fine dining could be so difficult? I have to admit though, the main attraction for me is the tip money. I mean, I've only been working for about three days, and I've made about $130. It may not seem like a lot of others, but to a student trying to scrounge together enough for another semester's tuition, it's pretty awesome.

Thing is, I can't help but feel a little inferior. I have friends who are doing PR internships, marketing and advertising work, and volunteering at Rogers and what not. And here I am, working two minimum wage jobs during my summer. They're off getting real work experience in the field we're studying (Media Studies, for those who weren't aware of what I'm in university for) while I'm stuck balancing two dead end jobs. Well, to be fair, they're not completely dead end; they're just not the careers I wish to pursue. I just feel like I might be wasting valuable time and effort. I can't help but feel resentful, except I have no where to direct it. It's not my friends' fault that they have the right connections and are able to find these positions for the summer, nor can I be angry at them for not having the same financial worries that I do. And, contrary to some people's opinions, I can't necessarily be angry at my parents for not wanting to help me with my university education. They were adamant and clear about not supporting my life choice, but I chose to continue with it anyway.

So it really just comes down to me. Which is where it should, I suppose. But still, sometimes I wish there was somewhere I could just direct this...bitterness. I want to be happy for my friends, I want to enjoy my summer, and I want to just kick back and relax for a bit, yet I know it's not something I can afford to do. And I know lots of others are in my aching, tired shoes as well.

There really is no deep, psychological reasoning behind this post. Nor do I have an epiphany to share with you. I really just wanted to rant for a bit. Because what else is a personal blog, if not an outlet for your emotions? They may not completely rational or reasonable, but you can't always be that way. At least I think so. How boring would your life be if you approached everything situation and every aspect with a logical, organized perspective? Or maybe that's just me. Perhaps that's why I'm stuck working two minimum wage jobs, working ridiculous hours on my feet catering to others' requests. Who knows.

But now that all that negativity is free, I'm going to share something a little more positive with you. I want this blog to be happier (remember my New Years Resolution? Probably not; I forgot myself for awhile haha), so I'm going to post my picture of the day. This made me grin, and so I hope it makes your day a little better as well. Enjoy!
Always believe you can :-)