Monday, October 24, 2011

Gather Your Strength and Rise Up

Lip-syncing: Sara Bareilles -- Bluebird


I have no real excuse for my absence. I just...I've been lost in my own little world; and not in a good way.

I've just been struggling to figure out my life. I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going any more. Call it a...fifth-of-life crisis? I'm just reaching a point where I'm so much happier just curled up in my bed all day doing nothing. And even though we often joke about how awesome it would be to do nothing my whole life, I can't help but think how terrible that would be in reality...

I haven't been able to write. I haven't been able to focus. I haven't been myself for awhile now. Well, that is to say if who I was is really who I am. Does that make sense? Probably not. Nothing really makes sense to me right now. Which is probably why work irritates me so much, why I'm pretty much failing school, and why so many of the people I thought were friends are abandoning me. Abandon is a strong word-perhaps ignoring is a better fit. But in either case, I just have to figure some shit out before I do anything. This anti-social, manic-depressive behaviour is quite frankly very dangerous. And when you're starting to frighten yourself, then you know it's time for something to change.

I really do need to gather my strength and rise up.

Question is whether I can or not...and where I go from here.

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