Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Just A Little Older, That's All

Mood:  sad.
Hating:  how, no matter how much you want or need it to stop or at least slow down, life will continue to go on...
Loving:  memories.
Lip-syncing:  Damien Rice -- Aime


Sometimes life just feels like chapters of goodbyes.

You may have never been my grandmother through blood, but you were in every other sense of the word.

I love how you use to totter along every morning along the sidewalks, turning around to yell at me to walk faster, despite the fact that you were more than twice my age. I love how you use to, on the hour, every hour, sweep the floor of your entire house. I love hearing the story of how you met, fell in love, and then was separated from the love of your life for years; only to find him again many years later and then become best friends with his new wife. It still blows my mind, and I think it says a great deal about the kind of person you were.

You use to squeeze my arm fat, and call me the 'chubby one'. But then you'd smile that slightly crooked grin and tell me that it was good; it meant that I had a bigger appetite in life.

I think the same could be said of you.

With one of the biggest hearts and passion for life I've ever known, I loved coming to visit you. You truly made going to California an adventure for me every time, and I know you transferred your love of the West Coast to me.

Nothing broke my heart more than hearing your diagnosis. And my chest still squeezes just a little bit when I think back to how you cried when you saw me and the rest of my family in the hallways at the convalescent hospital back in May. But none of that pain compares to weight that settled on my shoulders at the phone call we got last night at 1.00 in the morning.

I'm glad to know your battle with cancer is over. I'm glad to know you're not suffering anymore. And I'm glad to know you were sleeping, and left with a smile on your face; just like in life.

So goodbye, Grandma. I love you, and I'm going to miss you so much. May you find the same peace and happiness in heaven that you spread here. I'll find a way to see you again.

Rest In Peace.

1 comment:

dirtyxpretty said...

This is beautiful. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love you, Kris <3